Editorial: Why I Hate (dislike) Bayonetta

I will be the first one to admit that I love the Devil May Cry series. Let’s face it. The main character Dante might be cocky – arrogant even, but when it comes down to it, he is still a total bad ass.

So when you say that Hideki Kamiya, the man behind the Devil May Cry series was going to be involved, surely Bayonetta would strike a similar chord? With Kamiya in the directors chair of Sega’s upcoming game, you play as the titled protagonist, Bayonetta, who after 500 years has awoken with no memory and a skin-tight body suit made entirely of her hair. Yeah, I’m serious. O.k, so I suppose I can get past the hair thing well enough. In fact, it tends to go missing, and reveals a little of what’s underneath. Still though, to be honest, I could do without it.

I sat down to play the demo a few times this evening and I found myself getting a little annoyed as I played. The core game play that we know and love is present, with the emphasis on massive combo chains and juggling enemies. Again though, this is where Bayonetta’s hair ruins it all for me. After doing all your fancy witch-ninja moves, if you finish it off just right, your hair just might turn into a giant stiletto and smash the side of your enemies’ head into the ground. A gory bloody mess! The aftermath is sweet, but the stiletto is not. Sorry, I can’t do it!

Another improper use of hair in an entertainment medium.

Bayonetta’s hair does have one saving grace, however: you can go into climax mode when fighting bosses to finish them off, which is essentially a giant beast-dog-dragon-thing made out of your hair that can totally eviscerate whatever it sinks its teeth into. Namely big ugly monster things. The end result is generally a big bloody stain left on the ground by what was formally an intimidating end level boss.

I started out totally hating the game. I told myself that no matter what happened, nothing would be able to change my mind. However, during the process of writing this article, I’ve had a small change of heart. I won’t say that I completely hate Bayonetta. In fact, I only merely dislike it. The game play is alone to keep me coming back, but there are just too many minor annoyances to make it an immediate purchase at this point for me. The music, while sounding vaguely similar to the Persona series, seriously lacks the groove of those tracks, as well as the flaming battle intensity of the ones found in the Devil May Cry series. Oh, and when you double jump, she gets glittery butterfly wings. Blech, no thanks.

In the end, I’m sure I’ll rent it at some point, or simply wait for the price to come down before I add it to my collection. Unless of course I change my mind after playing through this demo a few more times..